Infinity
by writergirrrl22
Summary: A late night stroll leads Katara to realizing some feelings she had tried to bury, feelings that threaten to completely uproot Katara's life as she knows it.
1. Chapter 1

Katara's eyes opened, and suddenly she was awake. For a moment, she had forgotten where she was, but after finding herself surrounded with deep red fabric and gold accents, she remembered: she was in the Fire Nation on official Avatar business. To be exact, she was in one of the many luxurious spare rooms in the Fire Lord's palace. Zuko had insisted they stay there while they were in the Fire Nation because they never see each other anymore, but when Aang and Katara had arrived, they found Zuko and his girlfriend, Mai, leaving for the weekend.

Katara sighed and rolled to her other side and found herself face to face with her boyfriend, Aang. It had been six years since they had ended The 100 Year War, yet somehow when he slept, mouth open wide with drool running down his cheek and his arms wrapped selfishly around his pillow, he still looked like that 12 year old child she found frozen in the ice all those years ago. She felt a huge lump start to form in her throat. She tried to swallow it, make it go away, ignore it like she'd been doing for quite some time now, but she felt like she was going to cry. She laid there staring at the boy next to her until tears started to fall slowly down her face. She quickly got up and walked toward the bedroom door, leaving Aang to his dreams.

As she walked aimlessly through the palace, Katara let the silent tears fall. She felt defeated; she knew she shouldn't be crying, but she couldn't make them stop. After what felt like hours, but was probably only a few minutes, she finally stopped walking.

Katara found herself in a large room with high pillars leading up to what would be the ceiling if there had been one; instead, there was just the night sky. She was standing in front of an enormous water fountain. She stood there, staring blankly at it. For a fountain its size, it was oddly calming; the water moved lazily from the top of the fixture to the pool of dark liquid at the bottom. It was peaceful. As she watched, her tears started to fall more slowly until she wasn't crying at all anymore.

"That's a new addition to my humble home," a voice that sounded as calm as the water in front of her said. Katara wasn't sure how long she'd been staring, but at the sound of his voice, she jumped and whipped herself around.

"Zuko!" She said, shocked. "What are you doing here? I thought you and Mai were gone for the weekend?"

"Our trip was…cut short." He avoided looking in her eyes as he answered.

Katara looked at him suspiciously. "Is everything alright?" She asked.

He finally looked at her. "I could ask you the same thing."

"No need to get defensive," she held her hands up as if she was surrendering, "I was just, uh, admiring your fountain. It's intriguing. You said it was new?" She was deflecting, looking for a way to change the subject, but she was also curious.

"Yes," Zuko said, moving his gaze from her face up to the fountain behind her. "It's a rather strange piece of décor for a Fire Lord, I know, but I've recently discovered that water calms me. This fountain was specifically designed to do just that."

As he spoke, she took him in with her eyes. She was so used to seeing him dressed as Fire Lord Zuko, full armor and hair in a bun with his crown stuck in it, she had almost forgotten what Zuko the person looked like. But here in the middle of the night in his own home in just a pair of lose shorts, it was easy to pretend he was just your ordinary 22 year old, not the leader of an entire nation.

When he was finished talking, Katara said, "That is so interesting. I would love to hear more about it, but it is so late, and I should really be getting to bed."

As she turned to leave, Zuko said, "I can tell you've been crying."

She turned back to find him looking at her so earnestly, she suddenly become conscious of the fact that she was only wearing her under wrappings. She looked at him in a way that pleaded with him not to ask any more questions. She turned again to leave.

"You should at least talk to Aang about whatever's wrong," he called after her.

She turned back around, a fire lit in her eyes. She screamed, "Aang is the problem!"

As soon as she said the words, she regretted them. She sat down on the ledge of the fountain and felt the cool mist hit her back. After a few seconds, Zuko joined her. He sat a couple of inches away from her, and he didn't say a single word, he just sat there.

After several minutes of silence and Katara staring blankly at her feet, she finally said, "I just don't know what's wrong with us. He was supposed to be the one."

Zuko pondered he statement, then said, "Well what are you feeling about the situation."

"That's just it," Katara said numbly, "I feel nothing."

"Really?" He asked, "Nothing at all?"

"Well, yes and no," she answered. "It's been six years, you know? It's been six years and at best I feel like he's more of a brother than a boyfriend, and at worst, I feel like his mother. It's like there's something missing, like we're going through the motions of being a couple. But it's not even just that. He's almost never home. We never see each other. Do you know the only reason why I'm on this particular Avatar business trip? He insisted I come because after he told me about it, I complained that we never get to be together lately. Do you know how often I've seen him? He's left early every morning that we've been here and by the time he gets back, he's too tired to do anything but fall asleep! I don't even know why we had to come here!"

Katara took a deep breath, giving Zuko a chance to add his input or advice, but in true Zuko fashion, he said nothing. He always liked to know the whole story before he put in his two cents.

So Katara continued.

"I woke up tonight because of a dream I had. It was me surrounded by a bunch of little airbending water tribe babies, obviously mine and Aang's, which doesn't sound like it would be the kind of dream that would wake you up and keep you from falling back asleep except for the fact that I was completely alone. I mean Aang was nowhere to be found and it was clear he was too busy being the Avatar to be any kind of father or husband. I don't want that. I want someone who is going to be there."

"It's clear that you have reached a crossroads in your life," Zuko began, sounding more and more like his Uncle Iroh, "I can't tell you what to feel, or which direction to go in, but I will say that you and Aang have a lot to talk about. You're leaving tomorrow aren't you? Maybe you can talk on the way home."

"Yeah," Katara said, looking up at him, "Maybe."

Zuko placed his hand on top of hers where it was resting on the ledge beside her leg and gave it a friendly squeeze.

"I believe everything will work out the way it is supposed to," he said, and took his hand off of hers.

"Thanks," Katara answered. "Now, are you going to tell me why you left your vacation early?"

Zuko, who had been looking into Katara's eyes, looked away.

"Mai and I broke up," he said after several minutes.

"I'm so sorry," Katara said sincerely. "Do you mind my asking what happened? Do you want to talk about it?"

"It was all my fault," Zuko said, almost to himself.

"How?" Katara asked.

"I proposed." Zuko said, embarrassed.

"What?!" At those words, Katara's insides twisted into a tight not.

"Yeah, I planned it all out. I took her to her favorite spot in her favorite part of Republic City, and I had this whole speech about how I've never been happier than when I'm with her, then I got down on one knee and asked and…she said no."

"I can't believe she said no, the two of you have been together longer than Aang and I have!"

"Well we've always been on and off," Zuko explained. "I guess I thought if I showed her I was committed, that would be good enough for her. But it wasn't."

"So did she tell you why she said no?"

"She said she loved me, but then she said we were basically kidding ourselves trying to stay together. She said that at least on her side, it had become more of a relationship of convenience and that if I couldn't honestly say the same thing, she didn't want to lead me on anymore. Then she called bullshit on my happiness."

"What? How can she call bullshit on your emotions?"

"She said she'd seen me happier, and it wasn't when I was with her…." Zuko trailed off, staring into the darkness ahead of them in the large room. Then he shook his head, as if trying to shake a thought out of it, and looked at Katara briefly before moving his gaze to the open sky full of stars above them. "Anyway, she's right. It was something of convenience. I mean, I love Mai, but if I'm being honest, there was something…missing between us."

He looked back at Katara again and smiled slightly.

"You should go back to bed. Do you know the way back?"

"Actually," Katara said sheepishly, "I have absolutely no idea how I found this place. I guess I'm lost."

"I'll walk you back," Zuko said, standing up, then offering Katara a hand to stand as well.

The two of them walked back in silence that was comfortable, and when they made it back to Katara's room, he gave her a firm squeeze on the shoulder and said, "Goodnight."

Then he turned and left. Katara stared at his muscular back for a few seconds as he walked away. She could still feel where he had squeezed her shoulder. The two of them weren't very tactile with each other, so every time they touched felt a little unnatural. Katara realized she was still staring, so snapping out of it, she turned to go back to bed with Aang.

**A/N: Hope you all enjoyed! Please review and let me know what you think! Thanks!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews/favorites/and follows from the last chapter! Enjoy this one!**

Katara awoke once again, but this time it was morning; very early morning, but morning none the less. Aang was already dressed and walking out the door as Katara was wiping the sleep from her eyes.

"Bye, have fun today!" Aang said, waving to her, a huge grin on his face. She didn't even get the chance to open her mouth and respond before he was gone. She sighed as the door slammed, staring at the patterns on the blanket that was still covering her legs.

Finally, Katara got out of bed. It was still early, maybe about 5:30. No one else in the palace would be awake yet, so instead of heading down to breakfast, Katara made her way to the bathroom that was down the hall. It was large and ornate, everything bathed in the same deep red and gold as her bedroom, just like everything else in Zuko's palace.

Katara looked around, finding all of the required items for maximum relaxation, then filled the large tub sitting in the middle of the room. When she had the water just right, with all of the herbs and oils she'd found, she undressed and slipped into the soothing bath.

She immediately felt more relaxed than she'd been the entire trip so far. And when she closed her eyes, she could imagine she was back home in the South Pole.

In the past few years, Katara had taken to baths to relax; Gran Gran had taught her about all of the herbs and salts that were relaxing, plus it was the perfect place for her to think. She could just shut out the world entirely (something that seemed almost impossible seeing as she was always dealing with the world's problems) and just be alone with her own thoughts.

As she laid in the bath, Katara let her mind wander to the previous night. She thought about how it felt when Zuko touched her shoulder before he walked away; not awkward, but definitely tentative; as if he weren't exactly sure he had permission. As she thought about it, she could feel the warmth again on her skin, the warmth that constantly radiated out of the young Fire Lord. Katara couldn't believe how weird things were between them, the entire scenario was very strange.

But then again, Katara and Zuko's relationship had always been strange. They had gone from being enemies, to two people who bonded in a cave, back to enemies, then finally to actual friends who cared for each other. They had gone from having a sort of love/hate relationship, with constant bickering (which Katara had always attributed to the whole fire/water-opposites thing), to this cool, awkward unfamiliarness.

Though they had remained close friends for many years (Katara had even helped Zuko on his search for his mother), they had grown apart shortly after that. Zuko became wrapped up in his duties as Fire Lord, and Katara became wrapped up in her duties as the Avatar's girlfriend.

Katara felt a twinge of sadness as she thought of her relationship with Aang. It was difficult, she decided, for two people to grow up and continue to grow in love.

It was not impossible; Katara had seen it happen with her own brother. Sokka and Suki were set to marry one another in the fall. She wished with all of her heart that she and Aang were able to do the same someday, but she knew deep down it probably wasn't meant to be.

To be honest, Katara had grown tired of everything, not just of being with Aang, but also with worrying about her relationship with Aang. In the past year, it had become her full-time job. And it wasn't as if she kept these fears and worries to herself; she told Aang that she felt neglected. He always promised to make it up to her, to make more of an effort, but it never lasted more than a few weeks. After six years, could anyone really be blamed for the way the relationship was turning out? Katara decided that sometimes people get stuck in ruts they can't change, and the only way to fix them is to get out.

She felt horrible about it.

Katara wasn't sure exactly how long she'd been in the bath, but judging from the amount of sun coming in from the window, and from her wrinkled fingertips, she guessed it had been about an hour.

Katara jumped out, waterbended herself dry, slunk into a robe, and left the bathroom. She walked quietly down the hall and back into the room she was sharing with the Avatar. Opening the large, wooden armoire, Katara grabbed one of what she called her "fire nation uniforms." She had several outfits in the Fire Nation's signature red and gold accents, but she never found herself wearing them unless she was actually in the Fire Nation. They were a little more revealing than what she wore at home or in the Earth Kingdom, but the weather here demanded it.

Katara could feel that today would be especially hot, so she pulled on a simple shirt that looped around her neck via gold fabric and left much of her stomach showing (as it only just covered her breasts). The shirt was backless except for another thin piece of gold fabric that was attached at the bottom of the shirt, much like the bathing suits that were popular on Ember Island. The only difference between what the locals called "bikinis" and the red fabric that made up the front of Katara's shirt was that her shirt went halfway up to her neck and allowed for absolutely no cleavage. She pulled on a pair of gold shorts, followed by a thin and translucent red skirt that went down to the middle of her calves. She wished she could handle the heat better, but she was simply not accustomed to weather like this.

She looked at herself in the mirror: her tan skin looked radiant against all of the red and gold, but her blue eyes stood out in stark contrast. She momentarily contemplated fixing her waist-length hair in the style popular here, but that would have taken an awful lot of effort. She then thought about quickly braiding it as she would at home, but finally decided to just leave it be. Her curls were a little wild, but she almost never wore it down like that and she was far too hungry at the moment to worry too much about hair.

On her way to the kitchen, Katara wondered if anyone would be up at this hour. She realized that of course there would be, this was the Fire Lord's Palace! She was bound to at least run into the staff on her way to breakfast. But she didn't.

When she reached the kitchen, she swung the door open to find the Fire Lord once again. He had his back turned to her and he was gathering different ingredients from shelves and cabinets, but he looked just as he had the night before: like a normal 22 year old. He turned when he heard the door open, and smiled as he said, "Good morning Katara, you're up early."

As he moved to the island in the middle of the large kitchen to set his ingredients down, Katara smiled back and said, "As are you."

"Haven't you heard? We Fire Nation folk rise with the sun!" He placed both hands on the counter, which was just below waist level on him, and put all of his weight into his hands, leaning closer to Katara as she walked towards him. It took everything in her not to drool over his arm muscles at that moment.

"I have," Katara said with a sly smile, "Just not when it comes to you." She was glad they seemed to be warming back up to each other.

"Actually if I'm being honest, I never went to bed," he said, standing up straight and focusing on what was right in front of him; the food he had pulled out of the cabinets. "So I decided I'd make you a traditional Southern Water Tribe breakfast!" He gestured proudly at the ingredients before him. "I did think I'd have more time so that it would be ready when you woke up."

"Really?" She asked, "That's so sweet! But do you have time to do that? Also, where is your staff, don't they usually cook everything?"

"Katara, I'm supposed to be in Republic City," he said as he spread his arms open wide, "I've got all week!"

As he spread his arms, Katara noticed the scar in the middle of his chest and she looked away quickly. Not because it disgusted her, but because she couldn't bear the memory that came with that scar.

Zuko was still talking when Katara finally met his amber eyes again. "…gave my staff the day off. I thought I could keep you company today."

"That sounds great, Zuko," Katara said honestly. "Wow, you seem so chipper, all things considered." She was testing the waters. Six years ago if she had made a comment like that, he wouldn't have even bat an eye. Katara was curious to see if their relationship really was moving past whatever awkward phase it was in.

As Zuko mixed the ingredients and Katara sat picking at them, he said, "Mai was right. It was a low blow, yes, but only because my ego was wounded. Besides, Mai is looking for some epic love that will last for infinity, and I know I could never have given her that. I'm just sorry we both wasted so much time."

"You don't think you could love someone for infinity?" Katara asked. It sounded like a silly question, and she felt like such a girl asking it, but for some reason she knew his answer was important.

"I'm not really looking for infinity," he answered, never looking up from his work. "I'm looking for something more present than that."

Katara's brow creased in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Well, if you're always too focused on trying to make something last for infinity, you can't really live in the moment," he stopped for just one moment to look her in the eye and say, "You miss out on all of the good stuff happening right now."

**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review and let me know what you think!**


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